Let me entertain you.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls (who are preferably over 16). Roll up! Roll up! Scroll down! Scroll down! You are about to happen upon my brand new blog! Its shiny and exciting, like a new car or a diamond ring or on a more culinary functional level... tin foil!

Hiya! Miss S here, wide eyed and bushy tailed I am full of cliches and surprises... like when you meet me and actually see the tail for the first time. This is my blog. Welcome!

Ok, so, for starters. Expect some harsh non-family-friendly language in this blog. I personally think that swears and curse words are going out of fashion as a social taboo. Most people don't find it overly offensive anymore. A loss of grace and dignity or not, it seems I must move with the times. To help my argument I would like to paraphrase a good friend of mine:

The word cunt.

Cunt it the new fuck...

And fuck is the new crap

Crap is the new oops

And oops is just fucking cunting gay.

Like a vulgar modern poem devoid of any beauty, this kind of childish language is exactly that, the speech of youth. As I am of a youthful age, you may have to come to accept the use of my fellow generation's dialect. Sorry, but suck it up OR read something else.

Also expect;

Naive bitching. Yeah, did I mention that I'm young? As I don't have an abundance of life experience when it comes to things like, romance, finance, politics, religion or most of society's happenings I will probably be making note of how much they come to frustrate me in this blog. I know that worldly people complain about these things as well... however while I'm young enough to blame my youth for my arrogant self expression about how "my life is so hard" I will.

Hypothetical hate mail:

Recieved yesterday;

Well Miss S,
Wednesday brings the 22nd anniversary of your entrance unto this world, so, I wish you a very happy 22nd Birthday. I hope you are doing well. It would be nice to see you again, I wonder if you're back in Adelaide anytime? for Fringe?

Anonymous-Ex-Douche-Bag


Response;

Dear Anonymous-Ex-Douche-Bag,

I have politely requested, suggested and demanded that you leave me alone so I can get on with my life and not be reminded of the horror that was our prolonged relationship. You have not only ignored this, you have stalked me and gone so far as to completely invade my personal privacy. So, with no further ado I have nothing left to say to you other than this; You are a dull, numb minded lump of socially pathological cheating dirt. PLEASE FUCK OFF AND DIE! I would rather spend an afternoon with Hannibal Lecter, basting myself with gravy than speak to you again. I DO NOT LOVE YOU! I don't even like you. I happen to despise you and your hateful gruel mouthed mother, who by the way, makes VERY un-tasty dry cake.
Lastly... you have shit taste in music. Anyone who doesn't like The Beatles, Queen, The Smiths, ABBA or Eric Clapton deserves to be castrated and permanently struck deaf. Your genetics are a detriment to society.

Miss S


- I of course am not going to send this. Any contact would encourage him, but gosh writing it makes me feel better.

Social commentaries;

In the olden days, actors were gods, rather than today's golden idols.

Has anyone noticed that back in the golden age of film the days of CinemaScope Techni-Color and the MGM movie musical, actors and actresses were expected to be able to do almost anything? And they did. They sang, they acted and gosh, could some of those feather footed fellas and dames dance?! These amazing people were paid nowhere near the amount that some of today's hacks are paid. I put this down to vanity. Too many actors and actresses get paid simply to be eye candy (in my humble yet stern opinion). Now I don't object to performers being pretty, but not at the cost of true talent and dedication to performance as an art... rather than an I'm hot, so I'll get rich quick fix. Now I don't think that just because a performer is beautiful they are untalented... I'm not a hotness hater, I just think that there is too much emphasis on the way performers look rather than the art they give to the world. You may argue that being beautiful and maintaining a certain image is an art. Honestly though, if I wanted to look at a preserved beautiful image that was made by someone else... I'd go to an art gallery. That said I personally think that ALL actors and performers at Hollywood Silver Screen level are paid FAR too much to start with! Consider this; George Clooney was several times the amount that a real ER doctor would be paid for PRETENDING to save peoples lives.

Brains or Beauty? Doctor or Dandy? Who would you give your money to?

There will also be; Stories of Mistress S's social escapades, Why I'm not allowed to have money and many other little tid bits.

For now however I am going to snuggle up in my chair of choice in the Melbourne share house that I've come to call home and eat some stolen gelati!

Night night world.